Howdy and Welcome to the Blog
This will be updated inconsistently, thanks for reading!
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Marina's Blog
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This will be updated inconsistently, thanks for reading!
I've been working on taking old poems and putting them on here and also taking poems that have only ever lived in my journals to be posted. It's been hard since I started a new job and have trouble prioritizing tasks. Anyways I've been on a binge of publishing old poems which are inspired by an old friend of mine. My friends (aka the people who read this blog the most) have probably all already heard the story so I won't repeat it but she had a large impact on me as a person. I've also been writing a lot of poems about the current political situation, and the way that is impacting me. It's hard as fuck to be a tgirl right now, between TERF's Chasers and our right wing politicians/media who've chosen to make us our targets I feel like it's getting harder to exist as a transgender person let alone a transgender woman. I'm constantly torn between wanting to live a peaceful life to dissapear into the background as just some woman who doesn't have photos of herself as a kid, or being that tranny dyke who is so visibly trans and beautiful that people write poems, songs, and base the rest of their lives around me. I want to be both but it feels impossible to do either. Maybe I just need some estrogen, I been a tgirl for nearly 6 years and I still am not on HRT >_< I hate it. Usually to make myself feel better I write poems or go watch I Saw The TV Glow for the 800+ time and it works to be honest, the poems I write are shit and I can almost recite the movie word for word but it works. Maybe that's enough for now, live like this until I can live for real.
Sorry to get all depressing on y'all, but my life just generally is. Something about tortured souls producing art or something. Anyways to lighten the mood I'll talk about an idea I had a forever ago. It's a dating app for lesbian vampires, it'd be full of hot immortals in your area all ready for a taste of some hot and sticky blood.
Holy shit imma freak but honestly you can't love vampires as much as I do and not be a freak! They are hot immortal bloodsuckers who feast upon others they are either horrific monsters (would) or eternally beautiful (would). Or if you're more into fluff they require human companionship to sustain themselves in some fiction literally bonding their lives to others so that they can feed of another and survive. That shit is romantic as hell!
Been a hot minute, sorry about the gap. I was working on my shitty detective novel and finals just ended at uni. Its coming along really good and I really like where I am taking my main characters. For a bit of context, I've been working on a novel for about 5 months now and It's a cyberpunk detective novel about a trans girl who takes a job as a detective at a now corporate controled Seattle Police Department [FUCK THE SPD]. She takes the job because she is trying to get her medical benifits to cover her transition and also her epilepsy medication to help with her seizures. The main story and her journey is learning that a corporation, especially one that controls the SPD will not help her and will attempt to fuck her over. The story will end with her leaving the police department and solving crimes on her own like a vigilante/private eye. Throughout the story she is guided by three ish people, her older gay coworker who really doesn't like the SPD but is addicted to his job solving mysteries and the SPD police chief who is trying his best to make the police live up to the dream he was promised but also understands the dark side of the police and he struggles/fails to balance it. The third one is the villain kind of, who is meant to represent a the people in the system who are victimized by it. Idk where I wanna take the villains character honestly. I was thinking more on how to further flush out the delicate balance of not being pro-police while having a character work for the police. Part of that is because of a protest I went to today and I realize just how easy it is to fall into normal tropes of cop who needs to break rules to do the good work, that the police department just slows down justice. I dont want that I want to represent my character as someone who realizes the police department is incapable of deliverying justice because it is a flawed insitution that does not prioritize justice, or the wellbeing of citizens.
Guestbook/comments are coming soon I'm working on them. Just had to barf out some thoughts tbh, thanks for reading!
I really, really need to lock in on getting this website done and updated. I keep working on my current novel and honestly don't make time for much else. But also I'm not ready to show off that novel yet so I don't have anything good to share. I have a ton of old stuff but honestly IDK if those are even worth positing here. In terms of what the website needs I still need to wrap up a couple pages and get a thing to allow people to comment, like a guestbook. I saw one on Cinni's Dream Home and I kinda wanna steal that idea. Anyways that's all I got for now, I'm off to go work on my shitty detective novel